WTD: Article, Blog & Magazine Team

First Time Back, Written by Chris Thompson

Unreasonable doubt amounts to unmeasurable fear. What if I fail? What if I succeed? How will they feel? Will it matter that memories faded and love became jaded? What if all the possibilities I ever had become nameless? My first time back should feel shameless. I let my mind slip into a place that brought shame in & I lost focus and forgot the game plan. No reason to hate me now, just show me the same game plan. Every line written connected to something from within. I learned that the heart’s unmeasurable, heartbreak is unforgettable, but all pain is accepting. So it seems to me, you’re too busy trying to make count for sins when you can’t afford blessings. Remember you won’t get in, you have to remember that. If it really matters you will do it from within. Take pride in it being the first time back. When you understand your purpose in life, you deliver better understanding. Your purpose is right, if being you does not have to be an act. I let it loose, so now it is no longer a fight for me. It is putting up its best fight for me. No longer do I ask myself to define what art is; because every line written came from a heart ache, a pain that caused more than a heart break. See it’s simple, I want you to see what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel, and fear what I fear. And when it’s all gone, remember moment after moment and cheer after cheer. I did it from the heart & that’s what made it unfair. So now that I understand pain and it’s placement, my first time back is our first opportunity at greatness. Me & this writing has always been a unfair relationship. I hated this shit, I couldn’t come to her when I needed it.  It’s just every word reminded me of time wasted. I look at you now and ask myself. “Damn will I ever miss the hatred?” It’s the first time back I hope you all learned a little something from that.

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